<body><script type="text/javascript"> function setAttributeOnload(object, attribute, val) { if(window.addEventListener) { window.addEventListener("load", function(){ object[attribute] = val; }, false); } else { window.attachEvent('onload', function(){ object[attribute] = val; }); } } </script> <iframe src="http://www.blogger.com/navbar.g?targetBlogID=6424106&amp;blogName=JIAAA%27S+BLOG%21&amp;publishMode=PUBLISH_MODE_BLOGSPOT&amp;navbarType=BLACK&amp;layoutType=CLASSIC&amp;searchRoot=http%3A%2F%2Fstabtheheart.blogspot.com%2Fsearch&amp;blogLocale=en_US&amp;homepageUrl=http%3A%2F%2Fstabtheheart.blogspot.com%2F" marginwidth="0" marginheight="0" scrolling="no" frameborder="0" height="30px" width="100%" id="navbar-iframe" allowtransparency="true" title="Blogger Navigation and Search"></iframe> <div></div>
Photobucket
 
Photobucket

jiahui
she was from ijsn.
she's now in ngee ann poly doing business it.

her birthday
 19th of April 1991
her email
manipulated-@Hotmail.com
she likes stitch
she loves twilight
she likes jack sparrow
& she simply adores Jerrold Tan Liang Kwang
Photobucket

so if you see something that has what she likes, do get
it for her!



Jiahui Teng's Facebook profile



show her some loveee



Wednesday, October 31, 2007











life is all about decision. ppl make the right and sometimes, wrong choices. always think twice before doing anything cos you wont know who you would hurt. think into the future before doing anything. when you get angry with someone, always ask yourself, is this worth it. why are you angry for. when you can say one word 'sorry' and everything will be fine again. what's pride that made you lie. to boost ur self esteem? changes must be made. don't always be ignorant about your surroundings. it doesnt kill to know abit. put urself in other ppl's shoes before doing anything. that's what my daddy taught me. always look at the other side. you might not be always right.

& everything is happening during the o levels period. everyone has their own problems. its like their emo period. everyone will go through this. that's what i learnt. thank you for always being there for me always when i'm down and need a hug. i just wanna let all of you know that even when the sky falls down, i'll be there to block you from it. when there's nothing left in the world. there's always me. i wont leave. when all the food disappear, i will always share mine with you. (unless dun have den we can do what an mei's mom did in The JLC - scar) hahaha. i'll always be there to give all of u a hug. and if you give up on yourself, dun forget there's always me to force you, never giving up on you no matter how tired i am. <3

Monday, October 29, 2007

& love hurts. i'm determined to keep my promise to na.

Sunday, October 28, 2007



WOOOOT. THIS VIDEO DAMN NICE. ppl there can dance like whoa. it makes us look like shit.

Saturday, October 27, 2007

i'm so sorry everyone. that i gave so many ppl the wrong impression and distract them at this crucial time. i'll change. honestly. i'm sorry that i'm seen as a flirt, a bitch, a slut for whatever i've done to any of you. i didnt mean it. besides, its my life. i'll change. i promise. it took me 2 yrs for the whole gossiping thing to die down. and i don't want it to be brought up again. it hurts. alot. i dunno what i done wrong to make you guys hate me. i tried my best to be as nice as i can. ( unless you irritate me) and somehow, ppl still don't like me. i'm sorry. honestly.

you're considering whether to withdraw from poly beacuse u said you love me so much that u cant focus. and you've lost all ur closest friends because of me. and now i'm filled with so much guilt. that i've ruined your future. you've changed for me. not for yourself. which is not what i want. where did your esteem go. you're not a loser because you cant let go of this. you're not pathetic. cos i've experienced it before. but no matter how many times i tell you that. you dont seem to listen. and it makes me so tired always having to care and worry for you when you don't even care about yourself. i care. but what's the use when you don't even care abt urself at all. all u think of is, i'm a loser. i'm pathetic. and you fall but you just sit there in self pity. na called you to tell u to wake up. you msg me and emo me. thanks alot. i really don't want that. you're affecting me at this crucial moment. and now my mind is in a whirl. i really wanna help you. but how can i when i'm the cause of it. go back to you? then its not love anymore. i try my best to always be there for you cos i know that your parents are always arguing, you've lost ur friends, and all the other shits. but i'm really tired. because you never listen.i'm like a mute and no matter how much i scream for you to understand me. you never will. and it hurts so much.

i'm so sorry that i've distracted you so badly. :( this is not only affecting u. its affecting me too.

Friday, October 26, 2007

i like to air my dirty linen online so everyone can read and bitch. i have done nothing to anyone. i try my best not to bitch now. i really wanna change from what i was 2 yrs ago. and ppl just cant leave me alone. there's a reason why i set a password. so unwelcomed ppl can just fuck off. because you don't know me well enough. i like to hurt myself cos i hate this world. i don't give a goddamn fuck. i dun see why ppl have something against me. ppl bitching abt me. or talking behind my back. it hurts. because you know its ur close friends who may be involved in it. i hate this. i dont trust a damn shit it this world. i tell ppl stuff knowing that i may be backstabbed. but i still do tell. and i hate that. goddamn it. why don't i have enough discipline. fucking shit. everything is happening during olevels period. its really scary. now i know some ppl cannot be trusted. i know i'm wrong to air my dirty linen online. but here's the only place i can vent it all out. but do those ppl out there understand? no. bloody hell. what's over is over. why rake up the past to bitch. what do ppl actually gain. okay. whatever. i'm a flirt. i'm despo. i'm slut. i'm cheap. i'm the top for the 'i hate you' list. but what did i do to deserve all this. boyfriends? i'm sure everyone at this age has at least one or had crushed on ppl. and just cos i was attached before. that doesnt mean that i'm a flirt. or whatsoever. am i really such a good topic to bitch abt? its almost the end of the year, end of my sec school life and ppl just want to end it like that. fine by me.i know i shouldnt have gotten myself involved in all that shit and doing things without thinking. I KNOW. dammit. and i regretted. i regretted believing everything ppl say and not take things with a pinch of salt. well. now i learnt. and i'm gna change. why are ppl still bitching abt me. :(:(:(:(:(:(:(:(:(:(:(:(:(:(:(:(
i realised i've drifted from almost everyone. and it hurts so much. i really miss those moments. stupid olevels. i'm afraid. i really am. i know you guys will always be there for me. i understand. and i don't ever wanna lose you all.

Wednesday, October 24, 2007

tmr's geog paper. shit. anyway, magic 8 ball say i'll get A1. i choose to trust it. hahahahaha.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY AUNTIE ALICIA AKA ALIMON!
did something stupid for her in the canteen today. so embarrassing. the things we actually do for a birthday. :) even if today's has O levels.

my mom's mad. really mad. i have no idea how she can be so blind to the stress my dad is having now. i choose to believe he's stress that's why he's treating me so coldly now. and now, all my mom thinks abt is going overseas like we're loaded. :( and i'm firm that i'm not going china this year. cos its really to expensive. :(

and it hurts to know that because u like me, we cant be friends anymore. i know its mean of me to say that when you're still trying to let go. or are you. but i don't want anything to affect our friendship.

Tuesday, October 23, 2007














and the bitching starts. friends of ex. ex gf of ex. friends of ex gf of ex. wth. its over. and ppl just cant leave me alone. wtf.

TODAY'S AMATH PAPER IS SUPER SCREWED.








































first amath paper wasnt too bad. today's paper is gonna be a killer. :( pictures are finally uploaded. <3

Sunday, October 21, 2007

daddy seems to not like me as much anymore. :(

tmr's os. :( i cant believe it. tonight sure nightmare. like every night. :(

i dunno what's going on right now. why my dad is treating me like this.

i'm sorry i just don't like you. cheer up. :)

i'll miss my class alot. especially blg. i dunno what happened. and all that conflict and all.

Saturday, October 20, 2007

my clique.

my class clique started at sec 3 and we spent 5 hours everyweek during free period bitching and talking. that's how we became close. my clique has 9 ppl. jana, yuai, chris, matilda, alicia, elee, abby, loo and me.

chris
v close friends since sec 1. you'll always be there for me. and i remember all the happy memories we had since sec 1. though we werent v close then. i rmb the time when we went on stage to sing dimsum girls during our sec 2 talent time. and the times we went church and cell grp and bible study tgt. and how we always double date. going ps arcade to play almost every weekend. i miss those memories.

i rmb sec 2 we had a chalet, and bryan and kai were there, tgt with manda and yehkai. and we had fun talking till 5 am. and now, we seem to have drifted like mad. but i know that we'll always be there for each other. i will nv forget how sweet you were to me. when u came my house early in the morning to pass me sweets cos u said i nv had a bf for a long time n u know i'l miss those sweet moments. thank you so so so much. you and aiai have always been there for me, to watch me cry when i broke up with nicholas. when i cried over aaron. you've seen me thorough all my relationships starting with my very first, delong. and you're the only one i'm so honest with. you know me inside out. even my deepest secret. i trust you alot. and i'll really miss you. alot. <3

jana
na. even though for the beginning of sec 3 yr. many of us disliked you. we still became close friends. thanks for being so so so sweet and always cheering me up when i'm down. you and tilda will go through all the trouble jus to cheer me up. and you understand me v well. you're always there when i'm crying over nicholas. thank you so so so much. and i know next year, you'll be going overseas, i don't want to lose contact with you. during the o level study period, we've became v close. and we even got ourselves into some shit. tgt. hahahahahaha. and when everyone drifted, we didnt. i really appreciate it. for being there for me always. i will nv forget that time when you, tilda, raymond gave me a shock when u guys bought me a balloon just to cheer me up. i really never expected that. thank you.

yuai
aiai, we've always been triple dating, chris-bryan, me-kai, you- aaron. how we were there for each other. we even break at abt the same timing and get new bfs at the same timing too. in the past 2 yrs, you've played a very significant part in my life. and you still will. you matter alot to me and i cant lose you or chris. because of studies, we've drifted and sometimes we had misunderstandings. but i know you'll understand me. and what i love abt our clique is that we always resolve problems very fast. because we know we mean alot to each other. i know you've seen me through kai, aaron and nicholas. and you know me very well. thank you for playing that major part in helping me get tgt with nicholas. how u and chris and nicholas would be outside my hse making the 'happy birthday jiahui' using lightsticks. i really loved it. its the sweetest thing anyone could have done for me. and i'm truly sorry for that short period of time when i found you irritating because of ur straightforward nature. and got angry with chris cos she told you. i'm really glad its over. <3 thank you.

matilda
tilda. we've been besties since sec 1. and we went through the scariest clique ever with veronica. i rmb the time i was with delong. you and veron would keep making fun of him and me. singing the 'i not stupid' song like how u did today. though we changed alot. we're still besties now. i rmb how you would complain abt ur sec 2 clique when they are so afraid of ppl copying them and i rmb u saying how glad you were to be in the same class with me in sec 3. and since sec 1, we've always been crazy over tamagotchis. i rmb we would always say we'll open a neoprint shop tgt. hahahahaha. and now's the final step and our secondary school life would be over. but i know we wont drift. i will make sure of it. MEETINGS EVER WEEKEND! anyway, we would be seeing each other in ngee ann poly. though this may sound cheesy, but BESTIES FOREVER. sincerely. <3

alicia
AUNTIE! everytime i tell you and confide in you. i know you'll start with ur godly things again. hahahaha. sometimes it gets on my nerves, but i know i'll miss it. and ur stupid auntie ways. ali, we know u inside out. and you know you have to change that small little flaw of yours. and i've seen u through ur sze thing. and how you'll get emo over him. now its over. i will always rmb how we panicked and kanchionged over na's birthday party. its hilarious. i know your mother is v strict. and you most prob will go to a jc. but i hope we wont drift. and we can go out more often. please dun put ur church friends before us. like i said to tilda, MEETINGS EVER WEEKEND IF POSSIBLE. or just a simple lunch. we'll always be here for you. <3

elee
ELEE-MO! i started talking to u frm sec 3 onwards when we sat tgt. i rmb i'm the one who persuaded you to take f&n with me. and how you would always touch the meat, and i , the vegetables. and how we always put in stupid ingredients wrongly into our dishes. and laugh abt it. i also rmb you dropped the drumstick once on the floor and we laughed abt it. and the time when we put the wrong ingredients into abby's dish. at first, i was a little afraid of you. cos you were from the moleys. but not anymore. hahaha. i rmb the only time we studied in school after f&n and you confided in me. and you cried. and i wanna let you know that i'll alway be there for you. i'll really miss you. and i know sometimes, you might feel left out, but we still love you. i really dunno how i'll go thru f&n without you. thank you. <3

abby
abby. we were in same class since sec 2. and i rmb there was once when caipok made daphne sit on the floor when she had an injury and you said to caipok that you would take daphne's place cos of her injury. my impression of you greatly changed. i really salute you for that. and when we were in sec 3, till now, i always carried your books for you. and go toilet with you. always. hahahahaha. i know for a period of time we were v close where you would tell me anything. but i guess not anymore. i rmb there's a period of time where you always listened to me everytime i told you to do ur f&n and bio. and how i always persuaded you to drop amath which you didnt. i still rmb you're the one who told me that i'm a very guarded person and i have things which i'll never say. i'll change. we've drifted. but i know we still can meet up and do stupid things. one day, we can queue up for donut factory. :D:D:D <3

loo
though we're not very close. i knw we always call each other 'liu' and 'jiu', and i gave you a flower for vday with ur picture drawn on cos i couldn't print yours. hahahahahaha. 2 yrs in the same class has been fun with you. especially with ur unglams and ur funny vibrations when you laugh. and i rmb seeing ur jubilate poster and laughing at it like mad. <3

what i love abt my class.
i love them for being so bonded. especially national day. i'll nv forget that. and i'll really miss all of you guys. i rmb the times we had twoponytail day. where everyone even jiaxing tied. and the time we had fiesta. i'll nv forget those moments. i'll nv forget how we bowed 90degrees every morning just to please the teachers. though we have many cliques among ourselves, we will still be nice and be there for one another. thank you.

zoe
i've known you since primary 6. and since then there was so many conflicts going on between us. but you really spiced up my life. and we always bitch tgt abt things. and at times, i'll tell u problems i had with my ex and stuff. and i rmb we'll always share and exchange pictures. thank you. though we are like bitches having that love-hate relationship. you played an important part of my life. <3

FATS
every morning, you'll be my assemble partner where we will laugh abt teachers dressings. and say that there's a colour code for different days and how we would always predict which colour it'll be. assembles would be boring without you. and i rmb how we became fats when mr nun asked us for a one word topic and we both wrote fats. hahahahaha. thank you. <3

kaiyin
you mean the most to me. you'll nv bitch abt me. and i totally trust you. alot. since primary 6. i rmb since sec 1 we played with alot of stupid things. powder etc. its hilarious. and how i influenced u to pon cca. cca would be hell without you. i already miss those times where we'll go macs or tauhuay after cca. and we'll spend abt 1 hr plus plus eating and talking. and at times, we'll pop by amk and the places we'll always go to is comic connection and tenchi. i kinda miss cca, not for the stupid cca itselt, but the times i had with you. now it seems so far away. and though we've only been in the same class for a year. we still remain close. i rmb sec 1, me, matilda and veronica will always bully you. making u swing rounds and rounds. and laugh abt it. and i know since pri 6, i went to you always when i had no one, and when i found new friends, i'll just dump you aside. i'm sorry. i truly am. you played a big part of my life and i never wanna lose you. i can say without a doubt that you mean the most to me in my life, above all my clique. because this is true friendship. ( no offence to my clique ppl, I STILL LOVE YOU GUYS) we can go out again. and maybe one day, i'll just pop by your hse to surprise you. hahaha. i rmb since pri 6 grad where we always practice our 'knock out' dance. thank you. <3

germs
germs, we've been good friends since primary 6. and the times we had tgt was the stupidiest, funnest shit ever. i rmb primary 6, you're some small boy. damn cute damn funny. AND WHY DID YOU HAVE TO GROW SO FAST!!! tsk. nvm. i rmb sec 1 me, veron and matilda always grabbed ur shoe when u were on the swing and throw it on the tree before running to class and locking all the doors. making u go the long way just to get it back. its really hilarious. and i miss those moments where me, u, yongsoon and delong went out. that was the time where we were the closest. and i could tell you everything. then there was cheer. in the whole political cheer thing, only you were there for me. i rmb the times i always cried when i didnt eat dinner or lunch. and you'll always give me a hug and went off to buy food with me. and till this year. we were supposed to go for cheer tgt. but you've lost ur passion for it. :( and we started drifting from then. i really miss you. all the times we had. thank you for being there for me. when we sat at the back when prelim papers was given back, we talked like mad. and at that moment, i wish it would nv end. so we can talk like how we used to. germs. thank you so much for everything. <3

Thursday, October 18, 2007

the third party will always see the clearest.

no matter what happens, always know that me and na will always be there for you guys. <3

haven't blogged for like so many days. i want that bambi book... SMALL GIRL! tsk. nvm. i need more flower earrings.

i cant believe that Os are in like 3 days. damn stress. see how good other ppl just made me tear. i really am panicking now. :(:(:(

i've decided to get raymond's ipod. but i dunno how to ask my mom for the money. :(

things i'm gna do after Os
1) watch all the disney movies again
2) shop like mad. without guilt.
3) go sentosa, underwater world. zoo.
3) re-read harry potter again
4) go to the library and borrow all the fearless books
5) shop for more flower earrings
6) get a job
7) watch all the movies i've missed

Sunday, October 14, 2007

why do i like to torture myself? i have no idea. shouldn't have seen his blog or his phone or even meet him. now i keep thinking and thinking. trying to let go even though i said i didnt want him back. it seems so difficult knowing that i'm alr losing him to someone so so so pretty. fuck. i'm so screwed.

Saturday, October 13, 2007

i made a mistake today. i'm sorry. i see those pictures in ur phone and it hurts so much. true, we're not tgt anymore. then why do we still meet each other when we know its gna be harder to let go. this, my fault. i'm sorry. i wish i never knew anything. i wish i didnt see those pictures.

how i really hope that our characters didnt clash and both of us werent so stubborn. maybe then can we get back tgt. sometimes i really wished that you would read my blog. and know what i'm thinking. i'm not what u said 'not affected and seem to be moving on'. i know i'm really quite a bitch at times.

i just spent $5 on arcade today. damn it. so much for saving money.

AND IT HURTS SO MUCH. IT REALLY DOES. to know that you have so many girlfriends. it took me so long to accept that. and i trusted you. and to look at your gallery with both of ur photos looking so close tgt makes me so hurt. you can tell me you're crying over me. but look at what you're doing.

Friday, October 12, 2007

today's the last day of school. and it doesnt feel like it. in a horrible mood. totally screwed up my sec 4 life. i've seriously busted my tolerance limits. that i get so cranky. my mind is totally in a mess. i have no idea what i'm thinking and why am i doing such things to myself. i don't know what i want. and because of that, i made so many ppl hurt and confused.

i always complained that i'm so unable to let go because of my guilt. but now, i can see that we're drifting. and i'm so afraid of losing you. i've been really mean to you. i know. and its too late to apologise. there's no looking back. because i know i'll get hurt again. and this time, there would be no one there for me anymore.

i hate being so weak minded. that i just bend when a slight wind blows. ( too much joy luck club) fuck. i really don't wanna be too dependent on ppl.

i really would miss our class, our clique, ms prav, all the bitching, free periods etc. i'm really glad i went to school today.


i'm really short of cash nowadays. $50 for the rest of the month. i need to get nicholas a new present, save up for prom, for an ipod( i really want it very badly!) and save up for my overseas trip this year. hopefully i would have some left to buy myself a new wallet. i need more money.

plans to save money
1) NO MORE TAXIS!
2) SPEND ONLY $5 A DAY. and how am i gna do that? eat at home more often, eat bread for lunch and dinner.
3) NO MORE ARCADES!
4) no more spending on unnecessary stuff.

things that i want
1) an ipod!!!!!!!!! the bigger memory space the better.
2) a wallet from Hypnosis
3) a new tamagotchi ( new version) its a clique thing
4) a hedgehog

things that i desperately need
1) a prom dress and all the accessories that comes with it
2) heels
3) more money.

prelims sucked. L1R5 : 23, L1R4: 19. i'm still considering if i should go MI for the first 3 wks or work.

so many things that is in my mind that i cant say.

Wednesday, October 10, 2007











Tuesday, October 09, 2007

alot of things are running thru my mind now. and i really jus need to let go. maybe that's why i suddenly scared raymond by bursting out in tears. sometimes, i do that. i jus need to let go.

firstly, _________
no matter how many countless times i've told you that we're nt gna get back tgt anymore. it just doesnt hit you. i know you hate yourself for loving me so much. i've been thinking alot too. but sometimes, when characters, personalities and thinkings clash. it just wont work out. even if you seem like the perfect bf.
and i''m so frustrated and confused. why is this happening. i really wanna be free

i'm so determined to stay single. yes i am. at least until the end of year. for me, its quite tough, maybe cos i've always been attached since pri 6. and not having ppl to msg me is wierd. BUT I'M DETERMINED.

another thing that's bugging me.
if you weren't such a flirt. you would be a nice person. i know my flaws. and i'm afraid. you keep saying why doesnt anyone trust you and stuff. why not look at what kind of impression you give ppl.


i know what we're living in now is v childish. that. i really know. but what can i do when everyone ard me is like that. we'll grow up and see how cruel the world really is. sigh. that's why i don't wanna grow up at all.

i hate to see how cruel the world is. i'm afraid.

Monday, October 08, 2007











how about my phone is fucking screwed.


okay okay. now i really have to admit. leon's blogskin is as cute as mine. Os are nearing. :(

and i'm really confused right now. you seem so nice in the past. and now you're starting to stress me out with ur demands again. what's with it. i cant stand it anymore. you control me like even personal stuff that i dun have a life anymore.

Sunday, October 07, 2007








i have no idea what has gotten over my dad. he just scolded me. fuck.

today was such fun. taking the 'jln binchang' and the two way sign near na's hse. never realised it was that big. camwhored with it after we brought it to na's hse.

its so obvious he came library to see me. and i hate it. i just wanna disappear forever so no one can find me. i don't want to see you anymore. but yet i feel so guilty that you drift from your friends because of me.

how about i was being made fun of the whole time today. damn. so you guys shouldnt blame me for being so 'chu lu' cos really not my fault. dun keep making fun of me or *ahem* provoke me, specifically someone who's afraid of tickles. hahahahahahaha.

does anyone have adobe photoshop software to lend me.

there's so many things running through my mind now and i cant tell anyone nor type it here. and the feeling suck. i really hate myself.

Saturday, October 06, 2007

na msging pang. blah blah

send wrong no.

someone replied : i'm not pang. but i feel like panging sai now. either you're psychic or you message the wrong person.

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA. ITS THE FUNNIEST THING EVER!


okay okay. today wasnt a very good day. with me telling grace off and having problems with nicholas. :( i'm sorry for being so mean

i also realised that i'm not a very demure girl. i'm super rough. i shall try to change. today was funny. the ben chang thing. long story.

its really too bad that the person who is supposed to read my posts is not reading it. :(







































































Friday, October 05, 2007

i ponned school today to plan na's birthday party. :D we planned it one week ago. and today, was so rush. my gosh. can die la. here there here there. morning, left knee had stupid rhumetism again. den evening gastric cramps. damn. i really hate my body. i really dun understand why my body is always like that. and those ppl who cut themselves, why cant they love and appreciate their body. never mind. at least na said it was her most memorable one. i'm glad. we really put in so much effort to plan it. we spent the whole day playing and tickling ben oh.the best entertainment of the night even though i had gastric. we played with flour at na's playground. damn fun. hahahahahaha.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY NANA!

there's so many pictures to upload.

my conscious doesn't allow me to let go. doesn't allow me to move on. i really want to. and i hate you for doing it. i really wanna let go. i'm so frustrated. can you fucking let me go. i never want to get back with you ever again. no matter how much you can cry to me. or message me. its over. and i hate it when you always 'attack' me by saying all those stuff. it pricks on my conscious. i hate it. fucking hell. everytime we talk. we quarrel or argue. i'm sorry that day at s11, everyone left without you. that, i'm guilty. but i'm so sick and tired of caring for you. i wanna let go. i don't have a commitment anymore to care for you or be there for you. so please stop coming to me crying.

Tuesday, October 02, 2007

today i really experienced something. i've learnt that not everyone is your boyfriend and can wait for you when you're late. i also learnt that the world is not like how it is in SN. really. its so different. no one will forgive you so easily like how your boyfriend would when u send him an sms saying you'll be late.

i really appreciate nicholas for being so nice. always waiting for me.(until it became a habit) :( but those were the days. its different now. and i'm really trying to adapt bit by bit. i'm living without a bf now. and i'm prefectly fine. except sometimes i miss those moments of knowing you would be someone special in someone's eye. and i'll miss having my phone constantly ringing cos of the recieved msges.

you asked me why didnt i talk to you as often anymore. i told you i have nth to talk abt. its not i don't have anything. but more of, its so awakward. because the reply you give would be a more or less how friends would ( more like formal friends).

you said:

muddle.. sent 10/1/2007 8:06 PM:
where is ur showing me ur online shopping things
muddle.. sent 10/1/2007 8:06 PM:
where is ur showing me cat pictures
muddle.. sent 10/1/2007 8:07 PM:
where is ur showing me other ppl friendster
muddle.. sent 10/1/2007 8:07 PM:
where is ur talking to me about ur studies
muddle.. sent 10/1/2007 8:07 PM:
where is ur talking to me abt ur friends
muddle.. sent 10/1/2007 8:07 PM:
where is ur telling me what is happening in school
muddle.. sent 10/1/2007 8:08 PM:
where is ur telling me ur gastric problems if got any
muddle.. sent 10/1/2007 8:08 PM:
where is ur telling me ur knee hurts if got any
muddle.. sent 10/1/2007 8:08 PM:
u dun seem to tell me all these anymore
muddle.. sent 10/1/2007 8:09 PM:
its not nth to talk abt

a part of me wants to move on. but i'm afraid of losing you. at least now i know that you'll you'll be there for me. for now. i am not trying to give you wrong ideas or whatsoever. but i'm confused.

being in a relationship sucks. i've really learnt. those memories of having sweet and nice bfs was when we're still young and innocent. the world's not like that.
i hate growing up so fast. i will miss all the nice ppl who will accept me the way i am. really.

maybe i seem so emo nowadays. i'm not. alot is going through my mind now. i'm really afraid. Os is like in less that 20days. and i'm totally not prepared. i'm so afraid that i seem to run away from the truth. i'm playing and slacking like there's no tomorrow. and i cant help it.

never mind. change subject.
today, i went with leon and glen to buy nicholas, na, matilda and ali's presents. and in the end, i only bought nicholas's. :( firstly, no money. and then i dun know what to get for na and ali. :(


I'M SO SORRY LEON. FOR MAKING YOU WAIT FOR I HR AT CINE.

Monday, October 01, 2007

Take Me Away"

I cannot find a way to describe it
It's there inside; all I do is hide
I wish that it would just go away
What would you do, you do, if you knew
What would you do

[Chorus:]
All the pain I thought I knew
All the thoughts lead back to you
Back to what was never said
Back and forth inside my head
I can't handle this confusion
I'm unable; come and take me away

I feel like I am all alone
All by myself I need to get around this
My words are cold, I don't want them to hurt you
If I show you, I don't think you'd understand
Cause no one understands

[Chorus]

I'm going nowhere (on and on and)
I'm getting nowhere (on and on and on)
Take me away
I'm going nowhere (on and off and off and on)
(and off and on)

[Chorus]

Take me away
Break me away
Take me away


fuck all this. i really hate this world.


i was listening to my old ipod as i said. and i came across a few songs.

"I'm With You"

I'm Standing on a bridge
I'm waitin in the dark
I thought that you'd be here by now
Theres nothing but the rain
No footsteps on the ground
I'm listening but theres no sound

Isn't anyone tryin to find me?
Won't somebody come take me home
It's a damn cold night
Trying to figure out this life
Wont you take me by the hand
take me somewhere new
I dont know who you are
but I... I'm with you

im looking for a place
searching for a face
is anybody here i know
cause nothings going right
and everythigns a mess
and no one likes to be alone

Isn't anyone tryin to find me?
Won't somebody come take me home
It's a damn cold night
Trying to figure out this life
Wont you take me by the hand
take me somewhere new
I dont know who you are
but I... I'm with you

"I Run Away"

You took your love away, too fast
Left no chance to say look back
And now I know the truth,
It makes it easier
Maybe when time goes by,
I’ll understand

Let’s pretend, that I’ve moved on
And I tell myself,
That life goes on, without you.
Open my eyes, Look deep inside.
I run away [x3]

You threw it all away
So blind
You pushed me far from you,
In your life.
Now I know the tears,
Won’t lead to loneliness
Maybe when time goes by,
I’ll understand

Let’s pretend, that I’ve moved on
And I tell myself,
That life goes on, without you.
Open my eyes, Look deep inside.
I run away [x4]

Let’s pretend, that I’ve moved on
And I tell myself,
That life goes on, without you.
Open my eyes, Look deep inside.
I run away [x3]

Let’s pretend, that I’ve moved on
And I tell myself,
That life goes on, without you.
Open my eyes, Look deep inside.
I run away [x3]
[Repeat to fade]


the day started out fine when i walked to the 4 faith( the old one) and realise that it was used by sec 2 purity. so i walked around the whole school trying to look for my new classroom. i felt like an idiot. and no one answered the phone to tell me where. :( never mind that, my whole clique is absent today except me. thanks alot. i feel like an outcast. i went straight home today after getting back my F&N paper (which was a B4) without an MP3 cos mine is with nicholas.

i slacked for like super damn long den i finally started to study. since my creative mp3 is with nicholas, i decided to dig out my ancient ipod which is 4 yrs old and it is spoilt until cannot spoil anymore. took me a long time to get it to work again then i started listening to those old songs which i've uploaded 4 yrs ago. and i realise, i miss having an ipod. i really do. and i want it to have one. well, it seems to me that i'm in luck that raymond is selling his for $250. and i told nicholas i wanted it. and its not the first time i've said it. :(

and i dunno what happened. maybe i'm to sensitive. but we started our argument thing again. maybe its only me. and he's there with 'nth to say'.

it seems to me that there's so many things i never knew abt you. and now, slowly, bit by bit, we're drifting. and now when we talk, its always so awkward. like we've just became friends. things are not how it is anymore. and you can still say, what happen to those memories. we both played a part for the way things have turned out. you said that you dun understand how i can move on so fast. and by saying that, you really filled me with guilt, and i don't want to move on anymore. i feel like i'm clinging on to something that's not there anymore. why have things turned out this way.

in 2 days time, its ur birthday. i know what you want. and i really wanna get it for you. but even if i do, i dunno how to give it to you. let alone celebrate with you. cos things have turned out this way. it feels wierd. really. i'm quite frustrated at times, cos you never seem to understand what i'm trying to tell you. :(

it hurts being stuck in a world like this.

never mind. i shall change subject. i've decided. I SHALL IGNORE ALL SMS-ES UNTIL OS ARE OVER. SO MY SINCERE APOLOGIES TO THOSE WHO MSGED ME. ( though i will try my best to reply impt msges) :)